People higher on orderliness prefer tidy, organized physical spaces, detailed schedules, and reliable routines. You are drawn to people who seem to be sensitive, thoughtful, and idealistic, and prefer relationships that help you to grow and develop. Differences in intellectual style are captured well by two dimensions: ideas and aesthetics. We and our partners share information on your use of this website to help improve your experience. At your worst together, you'll tend to view this person as dull, stagnant, and unimaginative. In this article, youll find a comparison of ESFJs and INFPs across five important personality domains: Interpersonal/Communication Style, Emotional Style, Intellectual Style, and Organizational Style. Additionally, while ESFJs are more people-focused and often make decisions based on whats best for those around them, INFPs typically use a more self-centered approach to decision-making. Your counterpart can help you to see the big picture and imagine things differently. Likewise, you and most INFPs both tend to be on the more reserved and passive side in social situations. They tend to be highly aware of each others needs in a relationship and in tune with each They want authentic connections that reflect their true values, and they want to see who you really are as a person. However, watch out that you don't steamroll your friend. One aspect that you and many INFPs have in common in their interpersonal warmth. The same news that sparks enthusiasm in you and most ESFJs can induce worry in INFPs. The final reason why INFPs and ESFJs can be good for each other is that they can balance each other out. For them, discovering new ideas is a lifelong pursuit and they tend to read widely, take classes for fun and explore the yet to be discovered. ESFJs are sensors. ESFJs are generally good at ignoring distractions and making steady progress through consistent routines and habits. The two of you have some very fundamental differences in how you see things, and this can make getting along a challenge for both of you. INFPs, though, value plenty of time alone and typically do not do well with energetic people. When making plans, they tend to focus on the specific steps that will occur. Because their auxiliary function is Si, they look to previous experiences when faced with problems. As with most ESFJs, you and many INFPs can clash over your need to set goals and use time efficiently. So, the INFP creativity will be foreign to them. Both of you share a deep empathy and compassion for others and probably make plenty of time in your lives to be of service to your family, friends and communities. Ready to take your relationships to the next level? If they arent blinded by their other subjective feelings and perspectives, they can better notice what the other person brings to the table, and it can be easier for them to compromise and come to a consensus. How might INFP and ESFJ improve communication? The ESFJ will love their emotional depth. That's not to say you shouldn't be friends; in fact, you might find that spending time with this person introduces you to ways of thinking that help you learn and grow. Everyone likes to be listened to, and Introverts especially appreciate it when someone takes the time and attention to listen carefully to what they are saying. Be mindful of their energy level, and dont take it personally if they need some time to themselves. When relating to your counterpart, bear in mind that as an Intuitive Feeling type, they will tend to be highly idealistic about their relationships. Personal relationships, especially intimate relationships, can suffer when this kind of stonewalling happens. These shared interest in people means they will have the same career interests. While this might be intimidating, it also means there are opportunities to grow. The creativity of the INFP is never in doubt. Scheduling can also be an area of conflict for the two of you, as they like to leave things open-ended, while you prefer things planned and settled. For your partner, then, the instinct to serve is born of an empathetic heartache, rather than the sense of dutiful social responsibility that's more familiar to you. INFPs and ESFJs have some common themes that often arise when they get to know each other. People higher on the aesthetics dimension usually have strong artistic interests and a deep appreciation for beauty in many forms. If things spiral out of control, the INFP partner may ghost the ESFJ and silently end the relationship because theyre overwhelmed by their ESFJ partners need for attention and reassurance and dont want to deal with it. Other times, it can be frustrating. It's not that you don't care about people or making the world a better place, but you tend to be suspicious of change in general, and you rarely see it as the first solution. Orderliness describes your need for regularity, order, and structure in your environment. However, remember that all personality types are oversimplifications. This usually happens only when they are comfortable. The ESFJ male, however, may become more demanding of the INFP females time than she can handle, and he can become needy and controlling as a result of her need for freedom and space. You tend to communicate in a straightforward, concrete way, focusing on facts, details, history, and real-life experiences. Meanwhile, you can be a strong stabilizing force for their flights of fancy. They put themselves first when it comes to their emotions and values. The ESFJ female may notice this distance forming and become insecure about it, digging her claws in deeper. Communication is challenging. In his spare time, he can be seen watching football or reading more about the enneagrams! Both ESFJs and INFPs tend to be on the friendlier side and are attentive to the needs and interests of other people, sometimes at the expense of your own goals. None of them will feel like they always have to listen or keep the conversation going. Where you differ is how your values are directed. Communication is another challenge, since you prefer to deal with issues immediately while your counterpart may try to sweep problems under the rug. People lower on orderliness can tolerate more disorganization and prefer a more spontaneous, unstructured approach. That point doesnt address Fe/Fi clashes. INFPs have the opposite pattern, and they tend to gravitate towards more negative emotions. That said, while INFPs and ESFJs are both feeling types, their energies are focused in different directions. They generally focus on enjoying the present rather than preparing for the future. Finding harmony in your life together may take some effort because you see and communicate different things. Your counterpart has a similar value system, but theirs is more practical and logical. One of your key values is flexibility and freedom, and this in an area in which you differ from your counterpart. Copyright 2021, Truity. For the INFP, they want to help people grow and improve their lives. Feedback is hard to give and even harder to receive - but the Enneagram can help! Between the two of you, you are more likely to seek out engaging activities perhaps social events, outdoor adventures, or a new class, depending on your interests. This can be a problem. Dont ignore your feelings. Theyll love seeing the power of the Fe up close for sure. Directly intervening in other peoples emotional experiences can feel manipulative or pushy to the INFP. Though INFPs and ESFJs can be good listeners, they both struggle at times with feeling heard by the other person whenever theres a conflict in their relationship. They dont do very well with surprises and spontaneous activities. They tend to choose activities that will stimulate their senses or their body in some waywhether thats cooking, bungee jumping or arts and crafts. ESFJs can help them to improve on this if they are willing to take their advice. Learning more about your own type with an in-depth assessment is a great place to start to build the self-awareness that is key to successful relationships. INFPs are usually slow to connect with others, but they may connect with ESFJs faster than normal. Dont be like this person. Just like the ENFJ, the ESFJ leads with extroverted feeling (Fe). Accepting their quirks and flaws is the first step in the right direction. Friendship This will make them more attracted to the ESFJ. ESFJs put a great amount of effort into their relationships. Much of what you communicate is your idea, theory, or interpretation of what you see, rather than a direct observation. ESFJ are usually good listeners. Extraverts sometimes assume that because Introverts are a bit slower to get going, they have nothing to say. They can also fail to go after things (be they a person, interest/hobby, or an opportunity) because they are concerned about what someone else may think or want. INFPs can sometimes be quite ambitious, but they get stuck in the planning stage or struggle with being reliable and following through with their objectives. ESFJs and INFPs have some common themes that often arise when they get to know each other. ESFJs and ISFP are shadows of each other. You can easily imagine how the world could be a better place and enjoy empowering others to explore possibilities, whether they act on these ideas or not. People lower on industriousness are usually more focused on the present and will more easily change their focus when new opportunities appear. They wont appreciate you invading their alone-time or repeatedly overbooking the social calendar. However, understand how your ESFJ approach to values compares with your He is an ENTP, lawyer and is very enthusiastic about psychology. Differences in organizational style fall along two dimensions: industriousness and orderliness. So, while they might have shared interests in people, their way of helping is different. Discussing these in advance, and figuring out how to deal with them, will make things go much more smoothly as you develop your relationship. Although there are some common problems that can arise in ESFJ/INFP relationships, it's important to remember that there's no such thing as a perfectly compatible pair in personality typing. ESFJs enjoy meeting new people, but they are more drawn to committed relationships with someone special. There is no reason why the two approaches cannot exist side by side, although you may find your partners approach too traditional and closed to new ideas (thats not how we do it) when youre considering ways to tackle problems. There will no competition in public between them. If you've tried to share your dreams and vision with this person, you've probably noticed their distinct lack of enthusiasm. And in turn, they can help you to come back down to earth and discuss the details and facts of a situation, not just the big idea. While youll appreciate your partners tender heart, you may worry that they lack a higher purpose. Because the INFP uses Fi, they are more concerned with how their decision or actions affect them. WebINFP s and ENFJ s have some common themes that often arise when they get to know each other. You have entered an incorrect email address! The graph below shows the average position of ESFJs and INFPs along these dimensions of organizational style. Interacting for long periods can leave them strained. If the two of them are unable to compromise, their relationship will likely either not last long or will be long-lasting but unhappy.
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