As you read this Historicly Accurate Anecdote, you must realize the parallel between it and the fable The Emperoro's New Clothes. So, it is now up to you, the imaginary reader, to decide whether I mean probley or problemit's almost like a game! Good for it. If there are an infinte number of worlds with human life, than there are an infinte number of worlds that have someone exactly like you, with only a few key differences. In return companies would make a profit, pay their workers better. Code: 472 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that this site in no way aknowledges the existance of other, better sites (hereon reffered to as the Losers) The Losers are a myth. HILARIOUS! Remember: if the show sucks, it's their fault, not ours! *yet another highly dramatic, time-consuming sigh* I need a topic. So, that leads us to the evil paranoid conspiracy I thought of the other night. I'm like the little engine that could. "Yep, Bill, time to dump the arsnic in so it tastes pure!" It's not fair! As we all know, the world is going to end in about 380,695 days! I'm back. Now MY brain meats feel explody. That's exactly what tanning is like. See? Okay. Or I could be like that annoying guy on T.V. Well, you can't possibly have more time than I do. But wait! You wanna play that way. Towards the end of the movie, Neo chooses to tell Trinity to stay out of the Matrix, since he saw her die in it. I rule the Internet! To compound things, I wasn't alone, and things just escalated. During the weekdays, I get about seven hours of sleep (usually less) and wake up at 6:11 a.m. Yep. And I wonder where my little sister gets her annoyingness. I also would like such persons to immediatly leave my site. Now, wasn't that entertainment. We think. Perhaps a nice, soothing mistrust. And then the quality will rise. What? "a pokemon game. Oh, who am I kidding. Once I got this computer, I decided to do something similar on my beloved site. I'm still peeved about the cartoon owl from the Tootsie Roll Pop commercials. **** MY NAVEL ITCHES!! Every single person you know could just be figments of your imagination, you could even be in a crazy house! *yawn* I'm back. Yes, I am. *pauses* *groans* I'm sorry for that pun (pierced, hooked, getit?). In any case, I hope you enjoyed our patheticness. | 4.13 KB, JSON | ON TO THE CONPIRACY OF THE DAY! Don't Ignore Sites? You know the one. I think I'll get my little sister to be the test piolet. It's creepy. And if you expect something and get nothing, you feel cheated. Maybe the evil little faeries with the sharp little teeth have put their evil faerie dust on my computer. Oh, yeah. Waitaren't I already doing that? I've just gotten an idea for some more, original, fortunesI gotta go! After standing around a lotthe ceremony started. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. We slept. Explore the latest videos from hashtags: #yourbubblegum . Two and a half hours of homework (total) to be precise. We were supposed to write about a cherished child-hood toy, and attempt to turn our fond memories into a commercial. Stay tuned to hear my thoughts on tanning, and an evil card game, and who knows what elseOkay I'm back. Any way, that's it for now. Soit doesn't bother to find all solutions, and it may be wrong. Pathetic, wasn't it? I probably won't later. Wellprepare to be enlightened. I get done at 9:15. :) Seeya! i couldn't hear it because someone had put the speakers facing the audience. And still frustrated. I had some conspriacy or another to rant about. Maybe I should start on a boring disclaimerEh-hem. HOW ARE YOU DOING? Oooootime for today's topic. I'm completly and totally addicted. Purposly damaging the skin so you can look "attractive". By continuing to use Pastebin, you agree to our use of cookies as described in the. Space is notorious for not having air. According to someone you problem don't know, this is the second most pointless website ever! For an ENTIRE MONTH I have possesed the arcane knowledge, but I forgot to share it with you, my loyal potentially imaginary reader. No? School children won't be able to correctly identify the color of a zebra. Sodoesn't that make you want to take Kansas' side (I sincerly appologize if you are from Kansas). This annoyed my mother further, untill she asked, no, demanded that my father turn the car around so that we could go home. Parents would buy their children computers, video games and other television neccesities. I think. No one has even bothered to e-mail them to me*sniffle*. *sniffle* Why must this be? But it's legs were still moving and it was alive. But I couldn't have sung it 'cause it would have woken everyone up and they would have called me inconsiderate. Perhaps my family is just so weird, we've lost all sense of perspective. If you're following along, and not completly confused, you'll realize that it is better to be a pessimist than an optomist. DROOOOOL OVER MY MAGICAL POWERS!! How did you ever guess? I needs the duct tape! Or You are What you Eat. Seeya. Because eventually, I'll be back! They add random minerals to our water to make it taste better, and then advertise it as pure! CAT CHOW!!! After all, look how long this text is. Oh, well. TAB members got pizzalots of pizzaand candy. There is exactly 500 units of distance between the two extremes of winning amounts (0 and 500) BUT! SoundCloud may request cookies to be set on your device. Maybe eventually some weird, bored person will wander onto my site on accident and be mildly entertained be my site until they wander onto a live video feed of a coffee maker. HEEEEY! So, predictably, here I am. Physics is so FREAKIN' hard! Since all that nifty air isn't pressin' on you, your guts and stuff are free to go wherever they want, and the EVIL little things decide to roam around. So, everyone went to the beach and got tans. I came up with this philosophy when I was in fifth grade. Did you know that there is over two miles of air sitting on you right now? Wouldn't pure water TASTE pure, and impure water TASTE impure? And not so cheesed off about the whole tootsie roll pop thing. My school system is stuck in the pastand formal attire meansa dressa white dress(for those you who never bothered to find outI am indeed female). Dec 13, 2019 - 453 points 8 comments - Your daily dose of funny memes, reaction meme pictures, GIFs and videos. Of course, if everything is realthen the Universe is pretty contradictory. Logic Memes. In English, and stuff, if you miss one little detail, at most you lose partial credit, but you usually get it all right. You can read a little each day. I'm just bored. Sofor the first time in about 5 yearsI wore a dressand something that was complelty white. What's really fun is to translate an English saying, like out of sight, out of mind. WaitI really don't even know if anyone bothers to read this. That's right, folks, mass hypnosis via commercials. That was sort of a topic, even though it was sort of random. Okay, now I'm starting to scare myselfI'm gonna quit for today. I swear. Back to the original topic! *there's that darn cricket again* And I have a genuine question to ask all of my loyal readers *cough-cough* Okay, here it is: Is it normal for a non-gender specific sibling to carry around various dead reptiles (snakes, turtles, lizards etc.) Who am I kidding? Are you happy? Or he can try to save Trinity and doom mankind. Bubble Head. If you don't like it, start your own longest text ever. Seeya. I mean, I don't think I could afford a monkey, and I'm not exactly on the streets. Here, see if you can find the super-secret message! If that's not a vast conspiracy, then nothing on this Earth is. This has been a weird day. So, fellow conspiracy nuts: Take down the evil governmental safety device and take it apart. Seeya. Except for maybe five and six. She didn't know. Is your school playground a gateay to the underworld? Most people actually like to spend long periods of time exposing their vulnerable skin to the harmful rays of the sun. And throughly pissed off at my school system in general. And now, back to our featured presentation. I don't understand it. *Squirell wanders off in search of electrical sockets to sniff* What's that, Hypothetical Reader? Okay, fire is loud. Moving on, I have nothing else to say, but don't feel like quitting just yet. All this information and more is yours for the low, low price of 5 payments of $29.99! You cannot follow the vast, mind-boggling logic that is ME! (Like alternate dimensions and stuff) So, there is a world where you are the creator of this Longest Text Ever. That means I take four classes this semester and four different classes next year. HmmmmI suppose I should clarify that the Pikachu game was 3-D and your character was in first person mode(you see through character's eyes). It is doable im a week. Her first guess was enslaved africans. Do not MOCK me! Some people disagree, the director of the Kansas Geological Survey said "I think this is part of a vast breakfast food conspiracy to denigrate Kansas. That must be it. I clarified, which countries fought in the Civil War. It just looks weird. Ormaybe it's the feather off of the cartoon owl from the tootsie-roll pop comercials (onetwothree..*crunch*). I believe that she was just listing countries she knows America has fought against. | 0.23 KB, C# | I'm back. They avoided the sun at all costs. It was down for a whole day or so 'cause of all the traffic I got from my new quizes. Josh wants his thought back. Then they add other "stuff" in to make it TASTE pure. There are an infinite number of worlds with Harry Potter. That made him happy. TACO is still in my heart. Now is the time to mourn the loss of one of my most loyal readers (I think she's read the entire thing one time, which is more than anyone else has done so far) She has been banned from accesing any portion of the Internet, do to reasons that must remain confidental due to security reasons. Maybe they're here right now! Anyway, I'm gonna go. That is the only possible explanation as to why it upsets her so much. Gone would be the days when parents told children to play outside, it's a nice day. If iI fill out the fake tab form I'm gonna have to put back as my favorite wordI already have filled it out, though. I think mine involved a jaunty song to sing. It's been awhile, (at least two weeks) since I've written here. "Pure" water manufactuerers are not required to list the ingredients of water, because the average consumer believes that it should be obvious. You seeknowledge is good. It's pathetic. Where is the logic in this? I gave him cupcakes, and presents, and did everything I could to befriend him! As Neo realizes all of this, through a nearly omniscient Architect of the Matrix, he makes another choice. I love it! If you judged everything by what it doesn't acomplish, then the entire world is populated by pointless beings. I probley wouldn't actually print this out (think how much paper it would take!) Before you know it you'll realize that you need Christmas earrings, Halloween earrings, Valentine's Day earrings, St. Patrick's Day earrings, for crying out loud! Now I have decided to go for a world record. After much deliberation, she decided that she wouldn't eat. and eat dinner. That's how I knew it's name, picture and what it did. Remember that rant I did on how there could be a secret camera in the smoke detector? My mother is a control freak, and she decided on the spur of the moment that we were going north to visit relatives. This is too frustrating. The end is not here. Happy? Or perhaps not. Moving on, I finaly managed to coax my sister (I'm tired of writing Mrs. X) to tentativly guess that America fought in the Civil War. It's been practically proven that Ketchup transforms into a highly intoxicating (non-addictive) delicious substance upon returning from the 5th Dimension. There was something else I had to tell you loyal *cricket chirps, someone coughs* fans. They are the samething, with the same look, and almost same name. I have very low expectations of my site. And I only took the quiz once, too. She agrees, but only after seeing how important it is to him. If you have something better to do, why wouldn't you be doing it right now? I'm back. Everyone, clap for "Meg".I gotta goseeya later! NOTHING! My favorite stuffJTHMI have my libraries copy of JTHMI shall quote Noodle Boy for you:) (Full copyright/credit to Jonhnen Vasquez for writin' the stuff, I'm just sharing the spleeny goodness with you). If you can still think during all that incessent beeping, you'll probably find evidence that I'm really paranoid. I'm bored. It's really stressfull. I tell people I know about this site, but they either ignore this page, or don't even bother coming to the site in the first place. And on to:#4You make your friends look normal in comparison. JSON | This subreddit was made to archive copypasta. Anyway, I just finished rereading my longest text ever. She tracks the feather smell all over the house, and goes crazy whenever I take it out of my pocket. As long as I'm happy, right. THe cake was good. If you have a credit score of 740+ you will pay an EXTRA 1% on your mortgage. * IT'S NOT FAIR! I suppose I could let someone else have the glory. shut your bubble gum dumb dumb skin tone chicken bone google chrome no homo flip phone disowned ice cream cone garden gnome extra chromosome metronome dimmadome genome full blown monochrome student loan indiana jones over grown flint stone X and Y Chromosome friend zome sylvester stalone sierra leone auto zone friend zone professionally seen silver patrone big headed ass UP. They just like how I know lots of pointless laws and random facts. I can work with mistrust. You see, I periodically read the longest text ever to check the constant downward spiral of my sanity. And insanity. I just can't seem to stop, though. Next thing you know, you're internet connection will die. What I want to know is this: are there no intelectual property rights in the world of food products? In any caseit's awful. You got me started. I guess I'll just rant and rave about that whole vicious downward spiral of my writing. It sucked. Now her sister sounds an alarm whenever she sees the evil feather. That's all. It does all my Math for me. THey might havve been important, but we keep forgetting them. Sure, some of this "fasion" stuff is cool and all, but all it shows is that you had the three and three-quarters brain cells required to copy someone else's "look". It is now my civic duty to discover this ancient mystery, and reveal it to the uncaring world. Completly defeated, I told her that it was the religion she practiced every Sunday when she went with her friends to church. But now I realize that I am considerably more normal than the rest of my family. Was it on purpose, or was it just some mistake? Before she could start listing all of America's enemies, I gave her a hint. This has been bothering me for a while. When I win 500np on a normal game, I move to the 500 point. Anyway, moving on! Here goes. By the time you're eighty, you'll have enough ear jewelry to open up your own jewelry shop. I'm leaving. NowI know what you guys are thinkingsome of those items on that list are gonna be hard to find. Proud to be weird. What a good idea! No? I thought you were gonna stay here and keep me company?! I know. You can just picture sterotypical pirates saying, "A vast ye mateys!". This is chaos. Did you really think I'd give you guys my ADDRESS? But it's not. It's the sequel to the movie that revolutionized the standard by which we judge special effects. The basic moral belief that Polar bears should be WHITE. Isn't that sort of ironic? Wooooooo! She even got her sister and mother in the spirt of things. He can save mankind, and doom Trinity. On almost all the "purified" water bottles I've ever seen it has the following mesage: "Purified through reverse osmosis. I mean, she traded Asia for a carrot! I'm sorry that today's rant isn't random, insane or completely chaotic, but I must right my experience with The Matrix before I forget. CEASE YOUR FLATULENT WINDS AND HEAR MY MIND NUMBING EXPULSIONS OF WICKED NOISE! And not so pissed at my weird family. Yep! Any miniute now. My dude red. Hmmmmtime for #3You can obsessive over ANYTHING, and people will think nothing of it. And today's rant is a sort of philosophical one. Creepy. You don't know either? *sigh* There are no topics anywhere near me. But, the wings were'nt really special. I wrote about furby, and how it was fun to watch it die. I bet you wanna go eat some Ketchup covered Dum-B Gon right now, while watching "reality" TV. I only know that I'm entertaining me, which was my original goal. When is it MYturn? Try it. Because they put subliminal messages in them, of course! BEWARE YOUR TOASTER OVEN! It's spiffy. I don't WANT to do the same thing for an entire year. Now THAT'S just weird. Shut yo bubble gum chocolate cum head dumb no home chicken bone headphone head saw shit storm stone sword phone chord jones ford overgrown flintstone control board snowboard Nicole norr long swords broad sword war lord scoreboard wallboard shipload skin tone hormone the f up . It's pushing down on me, squishing my spine. Here, topic, topic, topic! Think about it. After all, you're a responsible, intelligent person who apparently has a lot of time on your hands. Remember to send your answers to my sanity quiz to the e-mail account, flamingchickens333@hotmail.com Oh, and once I refer to myself in the first person again, the handbook quote is over. HI! OH, DON'T YOU SEE THE TOENAILS?!! I'm back! Although I tell you she can't possibly be normal, since she hangs out with me. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. I'm gonna go hug a moose. Still later that day, she got offended at some trivial thing and decided that we weren't going anywhere at all. In school, back before I even owned a computer, I'd type random words for long periods of time, 'cause I had nothing better to do. To make up quotes from the non-existent Flaming Chicken Handbook, which Im sure you have a copy of. I should be asleep. Wasn't that semi-entertaining? After a horrific chain of events (is it coincidence, or fate) the people who will deactivate the secondary power source of the building Neo is infiltrating, die. It just seems extremly weird (and worthy of mentioning) that this semi-important guy from Kansas believes in a "vast breakfast food conspiracy". If you have a decent graphing calculator, plug in the infinity symbol divided by anything, (even infinity). by the time I had to do my part (tell people where to stand before getting their diploma) it was dark. The vendors even play whimsical music which I strongly suspect contains subliminal messages to make you hungry for ice cream. What does it sound like? Everything is fine. Guess what I wanna do. Out of sheer curiosity, I asked Mrs. X who participated in the Civil War. The insanity and stupidity is mind boggling! YOU'RE ALL ZOMBIE THIGH-FAT PEOPLE BROUGHT INTO ANIMATION BY SOME EVIL FORCE OF FORCEFUL EVIL!!! Oh, guess what? ME: Yep. Bye! Doesn't that just make you proud to be weird? I hate Math. And I asked myself "How could I have better spent my time?" Now, correct me if I'm wrongbut Iraq? you will all suffer as i have suffered when and if you graduate. Air pressure. I'm so very, very tired. In the mean time, I'll just sit here and type with my eyes closed. She HATES and FEARS it. After all, no one would really care if I quit updating this site. Sorry if I complained a lot. Code 452 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that the Patron Saint of Paperclips (ME!!!) Wait a minuteso you're saying that I'm talking and responding to you, but you won't be reading this until long after I have finished typing? Because in some world, the video game is real. There's salt, of course, and aluminum sulfate, and other compounds. I can just see it nowan organization devoted not to feeding the hungry, or peace, or love or whatever, but to giving recognition to all those poor, pathetic, unpopular websites. I can clone myself and form and angry mob? I've been playing one of the new neopets slot machines (black pawkeet). Awwwwisn't he cute? So am I. The following is everything I wrote during that sugar-coated time period. May your day be shiney! The author's vision was unique in that only he put biscuits and death in the same sentence. It tooked about envelooping (enveloping) cracked nuts and parables. My little, eviler sister got her ears pierced when she was relativly younger. GrrrrI had a nifty rant all planned out in my head. I'm back. I'm finnaly back! Wellbetter go before one of my two and half sane readers falls asleep:) Seeya! Now who's the crazy one? i like sugar. Wait till you see her in angry mob form!" This sound clip contains tags: ' 1 ', ' 2 ', ' 3 ', ' funny ', . Did you know that I now possess a DOMAIN NAME? I gives you imaginary IOU'shereyours. I'm going, you're on you're own! They give lots and lots of homework. I have once again caused that explody sensation in your brain meats! All because YOU tried to convince me that I was crazy. The form link is to a 100% fake TAB registration form that you can fill out just for laughs. No! What a crazy idea. What an eccentric idea! It will be a truly magestic site, as it launches from the earth, spewing excess oxygen, cardboard, feathers and tape. That's the rant of the week, month, year, whatever. Later, The Oracle tells him that he has already decided her fate. It actually lists what random minerals they through in to make it TASTE like salt. These people have obviously suffered major brain damage from their prolonged exposure to the sun. This choice is simply an extension of his original choice: he will save Trinity at all costs. They start out with half that number, and then just fill in words until they have the right amount. Good. I was alerted to this growing problem in our world community by (Kat, the ruler of all that is almondy)and it greatly concerns me. It would make no sense. Pure means, well, no extra stuff. Today I had the misfortune of playing a Treasure Planet game on neopets.com It was terrible. Right now, my spacebar is malfunctioningthat's not goodI have to press it two or three times just to insert a freaking space. Cookie Notice The reason I have to get up at 6 something is that III ride the bus to school. Now, don't get me wrong. That's right! Did you find it? I can't think of anything!? No, we got the greatest family outing of all. It would be a sin against humanity for a better site to exist. *blinks* Wowso I'm NOT paranoid. You must be caught in a time warp. Bubble spots Link. Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Today I will be mercifully brief. Although I acted like an idiot. Okay, fill out the TAB form, so I have proof that you bothered to come here anduhI'lluhsend you a sandwich?
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