Here's to another year of pretending we have our lives together. Hey, we're thrilled that you're here! Got a big hole in the fence. It's a better use of salt. -Molly Ivins, What you northerners never appreciate is that Texas is so big that you can live your life within its limits and never give a d*** about what anyone in Boston or San Francisco thinks. -Molly Ivins, The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. Port Arthur people thought I was a beatnik, though they'd never seen one and neither had I. I'm from Texas originally, and I've always wanted to be in a horror movie, so I've gotten both of my wishes with this project. hapy birthday happy birthday. The 80 Cute quotes for her; The 60 Best Get Well Soon Quotes For Him or Her. Raised on concrete.Doesnt know a bit from a butt.You dont live longer in the city; it just seems that way. 2) Forget the present, I didn't get you one. I wish you a lovely day, not just today because it is your birthday, but all year round. Happy birthday, best friend. We're coming for you! "Happy birthday to someone who is smart, gorgeous, funny and reminds me a lot of myself from one fabulous chick to another!". September 23, 2021; by Victoria Hudgins; Inside: Happy 28th Birthday Quotes + Captions. Congratulations on surviving another year on this planet. What do they tell us about America? Alexander McCall Smith, Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. The How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days star, 53, and . It was like Austin, Texas. Craig Ferguson, Texas is neither southern nor western. It moves into you. ~Manny Fernandez. - By Steven Wright. )Jugging and jawing.Commode-hugging, knee-walking drunk. "There's no better place than Texas to start over." - John Connelly. Texan til I die need no translation, right. Otherwise, you can follow and tag me on social media so I can see you using them in action: Facebook:Stephanie Craig History Fangirl. Shes got a bun in the oven.Shes sitting on the nest.Shes got one in the chute.Shes been storked. Indeed, it's the friendliest way to say "Happy Birthday.". It ought to do so, for no country upon the globe can compare with it in natural advantages. -Sam Houston, A born Texan has instilled in his system a mindset of no retreat and no surrender. Wishing you a birthday as wonderful as you are. We moved to Texas and we loved it so much that we started this site! - Jim Gaffigan. To me old age is 15 years older than I am. Kathy Blackwell is an executive editor at Texas Monthly. Planning to Visit Texas? Sweet friend, may the joy you bring to others find you as you celebrate your birthday. No membership required. And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make. Happy 70th Birthday! This significance of this day is beyond just your birthday. - Unknown. They dream big dreams and think big thoughts, because there is nothing to hem them in. Conrad Hilton, No matter where you go in East Texas, Deep East Texas is always about twenty miles further in than wherever you are. Markham Shaw Pyle. Have a blast! But, few visitors know how to use it correctly. Leave them blank to get signed up. He told them that for the past 50 years he had sprinkled a little gunpowder on his cereal each morning. Two tips on your birthday: 1) Forget the past, you can't change it. -Ninfa Laurenzo. What do they tell us about America? Birthday Quotes Comedians Alan Gastelum "Put candles in a cake, it's a birthday cake. It would be an honor to get dismembered by a chainsaw. Just popped in to make sure that you have a blast on your birthday. Don't die a copy." John Mason Quotes to Live By "Pleas'd to look forward, pleas'd to look behind, and count each birthday with a grateful mind." - Alexander Pope. AS AN AMAZON AFFILIATE, WE EARN FROM QUALIFYING PURCHASES, 70+ Interesting and Fun Facts about Texas, 21 Best Things to do in Sugar Land, Texas, 13 Best Things to do at Inks Lake State Park, Texas. Lets shoot out the lights.Well paint the town and the front porch.Lets hallelujah the county.Put the little pot in the big pot.Throw your hat over the windmill.Ill be there with bells on.Ill wear my Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes.Hes all gussied up. (Your flys down. We report on vital issues from politics to education and are the indispensable authority on the Texas scene, covering everything from music to cultural events with insightful recommendations. Funny 60th Birthday Quotes. Unknown 118 Likes Birthday quotes Friends quotes Yippee your birthday is finally here. Jos R. Ralat is Texas Monthlys taco editor, writing about tacos and Mexican food. Texas is a cult. They get inspired by them. - The US death toll from . 2. Markham Shaw Pyle, There are parts of Texas where a fly lives ten thousand years and a man cant die soon enough. Happy Birthday For Him Happy Birthday Greetings Birthday Greeting Cards Birthday Gifts Birthday Messages Birthday Images Happy Birthday Harley Davidson Texas Independence Day Bday Quotes Anybody got a room? Keith Richards, You dont just move into Texas. Scarce as hens teeth.Scarce as grass around a hog trough.Scarce as rain barrels. -Texas Department of Transportation. Bernard M. Baruch Showing search results for "Texas Birthday" sorted by relevance. Fat as a boardinghouse cat.Fat as a town dog.Shes warm in winter, shady in summer.He dont care what you call him as long as you call him to supper.So big he looks like he ate his brother.So big he has to sit down in shifts.Big as Brewster County.Big as Dallas.Big as a Brahma bull.Shed rather shake than rattle.Hes big enough to bear hunt with a branch.Hes all spread out like a cold supper.Wide as two ax handles.Hell eat anything that dont eat him first. 50 Fabulous Things to Do in Washington State: Bucket List & Beyond! May your birthday be as sweet as you are. Here's hoping you hear your husband say, "I have a present for youand it's jewelry!" I'm thinking of you today. Hes so country he thinks a seven-course meal is a possum and a six-pack. -Pete Hamill, Texas is a blend of valor and swagger. -Sam Houston, Thats the thing about East Texas. -Carl Sandburg, Texas is like a beckoning star to American settlers. You don't want to mess with a Texan who's throwing a hissy fit. It proclaims them. Hell squeeze a nickel till the buffalo screams. for that one really miserly friend. I like it here in Austin. Here you go! His breaths so strong you could hang out the washing on it.That coffees so strong itll put hair on your chest.Coffee so strong itll walk into your cup.Coffee so strong itll raise a blood blister on a boot.Hes so strong he makes Samson look sensitive. hes cheap. We share comprehensive travel guides and tips for anyone traveling around America. Best Funny & Humorous Happy Birthday Wishes Birthday Quotes - BrainyQuote Cherish all your happy moments; they make a fine cushion for old age. And once again we wish you. I look 40 and act 20; that made me 60. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Red dirt never quite washes out, and pine pollen is tenacious as original sin. Above all, Texas is a nation in every sense of the word. -John Steinbeck, Dont mess with Texas. Booth Tarkington The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. History Fangirl is a participant in the Amazon Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. -John Gunther, Im so shook. And what could possibly be a better way to talk about this state than discussing its funny Texas sayings, quotes, expressions, and jokes? One day, behind a general store in Central Texas, a firearms instructor in a wide-brimmed cowboy hat reached for the butt of his holster as I approached him for an interview. Image Credit. I love you so much, honey. I wrestle with these questions all the time. He often speaks highly of himself but does not follow through with his actions. Happy Birthday! The Lone Star State has inspired some truly beautiful travel quotes. This is an all-out tantrum with hollerin', feet stompin' the works. Anything that large and inspiring is bound to have a few haters, right? I thought it was a joke. Ive traveled all over the world, but I dont think there is any place better than Texas. Red Adair, No place like Texas would I ever roam. If I live to see your grandchildren, I'm going to tell them all the Birthday pranks we played on you every year. Hey'It's your 60th birthday!' People from all over the United States can pick Texas out on the map. -Willie Nelson, There is a growing feeling that perhaps Texas is really another country, a place where the skies, the disasters, the diamonds, the politicians, the women, the fortunes, the football players, and the murders are all bigger than anywhere else. As welcome as a porcupine at a nudist colony. So I got a cake." - Mitch Hedberg, comedian Now on to the dark side you will also find several Texas quotes mocking the state and its icons. May you have a delicious and partylicious birthday! Happy Birthday to you! -Rosemary Kent, Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention. -Pat Green, You dont just move to Texas. He can strut sitting down.Hes all hat and no cattle.Shes all gurgle and no guts.He chamber-of-commerced it. "Put candles in a cake, it's a birthday cake. Texas is a blend of valor and swagger. Carl Sandburg, Texas history is as varied, tempestuous, and vast as the state itself. Even if theyre not American, people know about Texas. - Funny Birthday wishes. On the final day of the '86 show, the State Fair of Texas celebrated its 100th birthday (f.y.i. I love the fact that Texas is so big, but you dont feel small because of that. Dream big and make them true, so that one-day people get inspired by your sheer guts. "You May All Go to Hell and I Will Go to Texas" Davy Crockett This quote truly epitomizes the spirit of Texas. Now I hope all your wishes come true. Nows Your Chance. An 18th birthday is exciting but your 21st birthday will be even better. 17 Fabulous Midwest Tourist Attractions You Need to See, How to Visit Camel Rock: A Popular Santa Fe Roadside Attraction Near Tesque, NM, 10 Places with Ancient Polygonal Walls Around the World that You Can Visit, How to Visit Playa Negra, Puerto Rico: Viequess Beautiful Black Sand Beach. If that aint a fact, Gods a possum.You can take that to the bank.You can hang your hat on it.You can bet the farm on it.Hes so honest you could shoot craps with him over the phone.If I say a hen dips snuff, you can look under her wing for the can. I will never be able to forget the support that you have given me. If you do use one, Id love if you linked or tagged me so I can enjoy your work! Check out my Balkan Travel Blog + Oklahoma Travel Blog, 50 Stunning Hawaii Quotes & Hawaii Instagram Caption Inspiration, 101 Quotes about Los Angeles & LA Quotes that Make Perfect LA Instagram Captions, 50 Inspirational Kansas Quotes for Kansas Instagram Captions & Statuses, 101 Gorgeous Quotes About California & Fabulous California Instagram Captions, 250 Inspirational Travel Quotes & Travel Instagram Captions, 101 Fabulous Quotes about New York & New York Instagram Captions, 30 Beautiful Chicago Quotes & Chicago Instagram Caption Inspiration, 13 Inspirational Colorado Quotes & Colorado Instagram Inspiration, The Best Texas Quotes & Texas Instagram Captions. May your birthday overflow with downy teddy bears, the comfiest blankets and the loveliest cake ever. Related Topics. "The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been with." - Madeleine L'Engle. I have a good friend whos aTexas girl;Texas girls are a whole different breed. John Cusack. -Philip Sheridan, If a mans from Texas, hell tell you. There is no one alive who is 'you-er' than you! So dry the catfish are carrying canteens. He shoots off his mouth so much he must eat bullets for breakfast. Texas girls are a whole different breed. John Cusack, What you northerners never appreciate is that Texas is so big that you can live your life within its limits and never give a damn about what anyone in Boston or San Francisco thinks. James Michener, I like it here in Austin. Read Next:250 Inspirational Travel Quotes & Travel Instagram Captions. A Great Day Bagso you can carry what you need with you (like your camera, snacks, water, sunscreen, cash, etc). Herere the best Texas sayings, quotes, and expressions. Texas is an obsession. To the best woman in the . )He learned to whisper in a sawmill. -Time Blair, Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called walking. -George W. Bush, Texas is big now, but imagine the size of her as a republic. I wish you a speedy recovery from all that you lost in earlier years. happy birthday wishes little bunny svg png eps cut files typography. Here are some of the uniquely Texan sayings not for the faint at heart! That Texas pride really shines through in these quotes. -Mike Blakely, Most Americans can cover their home state in less than a week. -Jensen Ackles, Texas is like Australia with the handbrake off. I like the image Texas brings to mind-that of bigness, of strength, of goodness. After all, by the time they've turned 60, most people can take a good senior joke or two. No matter how tough things get, she's seen tougher. "You Can Imagine Me as a Kid Growing up in Redneck Texas with Ballet Shoes, Tucking the Violin under My Arm. He jumped on me like a duck on a June bug.He jumped on me like white on rice.He can blow out the lamp and jump into bed before it gets dark.He gets there in one-half less than no time.Quick out of the chute.Fast as greased lightning.Fast as small-town gossip.Faster than a prairie fire with a tail wind.Faster than a scalded cat.Faster than double-struck lightning.Faster than a sneeze through a screen door.Going like a house afire.Hell-bent for leather.Any faster and hed catch up to yesterday.In a New York minute. -Sam Houston, Im from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because theres no one in control. "When I was young, the Dead Sea was still alive.". Shes frying size.Hes knee-high to a grasshopper.Hed have to stand up to look a rattler in the eye.About as big as the little end of nothing.Half as big as a minute.No bigger than moles on a chigger.Scrawny as Ace Reid cattle.Nothing between the horns and hooves but hide.Thin as a bars ear.Thin as a gnats whisker.Thin as store-bought thread.Thin as Depression soup.Thin as a fiddle string.Thin as a rake and twice as sexy.Flat as a fritter.Scarce-hipped.So skinny she has to stand twice to make a shadow.So skinny you could give her a Big Red and use her as a thermometer.So skinny she shades herself under the clothesline. For all the smiles you put on my face and the people around. Kathleen Kent, Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. The 60 Best Happy Birthday To Sister Quotes from Heart; Happy Birthday To Cousin; Love Quotes for Him; The 60 Romantic Cute Love Quotes For Her from Heart. All hat, no cattle. Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. -Jensen Ackles, In Texas, we practically come out of the womb in jeans. -Kelly Clarkson, Texans aint Texans if they arent willing to boast about the state they call home. ~Anon, Texans ignored better, long ago forgot the useless word good. Everything in Texas is best. ~Edward Smith, You can take the girl out of Texas but not Texas out of the girl. Im madder than a wet hen! The Ultimate History Travel Blog Since 2015, Last Updated on: 22nd August 2021, 01:20 am. It congratulates you, on your arrival, at having escaped from the slop pails of the other 49 states. Alistair Cooke, Only Texas could turn defeat into a legenda song, a tourist attraction, and a major motion picture. Rosemary Kent, If a mans from Texas, hell tell you. Best Texan Quotes. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. This aint my first rodeo. when youre really experienced at something! As you get older, three things happen: The first is your memory goes, and I. 9. Texas is an obsession. Hes overdrawn at the memory bank. Texas is a state of mind. 800-810-1617 gograph@gograph.com; Login. Wishing you a cheerful 60th birthday. Just fell off the turnip (watermelon, tater) truck.Hes so country he thinks a seven-course meal is a possum and a six-pack.They lived so far out in the country that the sun set between their house and town. Todays Texas is exhilarating, exasperating, violent, charming, horrible, delightful, alive. Edna Ferber, There is a growing feeling that perhaps Texas is really another country, a place where the skies, the disasters, the diamonds, the politicians, the women, the fortunes, the football players are all bigger than anywhere else. Pete Hamill, Read next: Incredible Weekend Getaways in Texas, There is a special mystique to Texas. I Had to Fight My Way Up" - Patrick Swayze Long live the dirty dancing Patrick Swayze! (For people without US cell phone plans). The general store, the hat: the line between the myth of Texas and the reality of Texas is razor-thin. Manny Fernandez, Read next: Romantic Weekend Getaways in Texas, Texas does not, like any other region, simply have indigenous dishes. Individually they may be pretty, but put together, they can stop traffic. Cathy Bonner, Texas has a tight cohesiveness perhaps stronger than any other section of America. Dumb as a box of rocks. Yippee your birthday is finally here. I use a mix of myNikon D810and mySamsung8smartphone these days. - Unknown. HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Need Texas sayings about girls from Texas? In three days no one could stand him. Joseph Heller, If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell General Philip Henry Sheridan, The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that its impossible to be insane in Texas. Malcolm McDowell. He stays in the shadow of his mamas apron.If he was melted down, he couldnt be poured into a fight.Hes first cousin to Moses Rose.He wouldnt bite a biscuit.Hes yellow as mustard but without the bite.He may not be a chicken, but he has his henhouse ways. She also released several albums during the period 2003-08. Hes so busy youd think he was twins.Theyre doing a land-office business.Busy as a one-legged man at an ass-kicking convention.Busy as a funeral home fan in July.Busy as a one-eyed dog in a smokehouse.Busy as a one-armed paperhanger.Busy as a stump-tailed bull in fly season.Busy as a hound in flea season.Got to slop the hogs, dig the well, and plow the south forty before breakfast.Got to get back to my rat killing.Shes jumping like hot grease (or water) on a skillet.Panting like a lizard on a hot rock.No grass growing under her feet. . If a trip around the world cost a dollar, I couldnt get to the Oklahoma line.Hes so broke hes busted all Ten Commandments.Poor as a lizard-eating cat.Hasnt got a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out of.So poor I had a tumbleweed as a pet.I ate so many armadillos when I was young, I still roll up into a ball when Ihear a dog bark.So poor we had to fertilize the sills before we could raise the windows.Poor as sawmill rats.Hes broke as a stick horse.Hes too poor to pay attention.So poor the wolf wont even stop at their door.So poor their Sunday supper is fried water.Too poor to paint, too proud to whitewash. -Stephen F. Austin, I must say as to what I have seen of Texas, it is the garden spot of the world. So rich they can eat fried chicken all week long. yes, fried chicken is where all the moolahs at! One time she wrote about sports. Hissy fit. If hes not, why embarrass him by asking? John Gunther, Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. ~Sam Houston, Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called walking. George W. Bush, Texas is neither southern nor western. Looking for Best Road Trip Ideas in Texas. On my birthday, I wished for a friend like you. Waco: American Apocalypse Doesnt Even Try. Shes itching for something she wont scratch for. for dreaming for something too big! Happy Birthday to you. Read our. Texas is an obsession. Collections. Don't mess with Texas. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." Check out these belated birthday wishes if you're looking to make it up to your friend whose. May your smile get brighter with each passing year. 0 ; Copy You were too hard to raise to take chances.Dont dig up more snakes than you can kill.Whistle before you walk into a strangers camp.Dont plow too close to the cotton.A dead snake can still bite.A dead bee can still sting.Dont tip over the outhouse. May your birthday be as beautiful as your soul is lovely. All over the world, traveling Texans tend to identify as Texan rather than American, because, well, we get treated like celebrities when we do. Elizabeth Abrahamsen. I Wish you a very Happy Birthday. So dry the catfish are carrying canteens. May you always wake up in the morning with a smile on your face. I just love you too much. Above all, Texas is a nation in every sense of the word. (Snored. Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. -Jensen Ackles, Theres no better place than Texas to start over. John Connelly, In Texas, we practically come out of the womb in jeans. Kelly Clarkson, I truly think Texans have more fun than the rest of the world. Tommy Tune, You can take the girl out of Texas, but not Texas out of the girl. Janine Turner. Discover Texan cities, small towns, and outdoor attractions. Hell eat anything that dont eat him first. Anybody got a room? -Keith Richards, People dont live in Austin to work, they work to live there. -Robert Rodriguez, During the cold war, West Berlin was an exclave a tiny outpost of liberalism surrounded by people who want to crush it. 500 matching entries found. Congratulations, and may life keeps smiling at you as it has been up to now. Happy Birthday, my sugar lumps! The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. As exciting as waiting for paint to dry.As exciting as a mashed-potato sandwich.As much fun as chopping wood.Dull as Henrys bone. "In Texas, there is a certain honor of being a Texan that is doing something the best that you can." - Matthew McConaughey. A Texan outside of Texas is a foreigner.". Count your life by smiles, not tears. Hell eat anything that dont eat him first. MR. SPOCK. 257 points. Your advancement in years is a progression into the plans and purpose of God for you. Here we have compiled happy birthday to me quotes that we thought you might like as you celebrate your special day. Someone doesn't merely dieshe opens herself up a worm farm. They hung the wrong horse thief. for when something goes wrong. this is one of the funniest Texas expressions! He could fall up a tree.Couldnt ride a nightmare without falling out of bed.He couldnt knock a hole in the wind with a sackful of hammers.So bad at farming he couldnt raise Cain.He couldnt hit the floor if he fell out of bed.Handy as hip pockets on a hog.Worthless as teats on a bull.Worthless as a sidesaddle on a sow.Not worth spit.He couldnt organize a pissing contest in a brewery.Useless as two buggies in a one-horse town.He could screw up a two-car funeral.Tie a quarter to it and throw it away, and you can say you lost something.Hes got no more chance than a June bug in the chicken coop.Hes a day late and a dollar short.He cant win for losing.Hes sucking hind teat.I need that like a tomcat needs a trousseau.Shes itching for something she wont scratch for.Why close the barn door after the horses are out?No more good than an eyeless needle.Like warming up leftover snow.Like pushing a wheelbarrow with rope handles.Like sweet-talking the water out of the well. He hangs out more often than Mamas washing.Hes like a blisterhe doesnt show up till the works all done. We asked twelve renowned artists to illustrate their favorite Texas sayings, and we present as well a sample of other axioms and adages common to the statea collection of sayings as big as all hell and half of Texas. Hot will cool if greedy will let it.Take a tater and wait.Dont get your panties in a wad.Wash off your war paint. It means you're no fool. The Lone Star State is full of character, and so are these Texas quotes. I think Texans have more fun than the rest of the world Choreographer Tommy Tune. #1. Have a wonderful birthday. Happy 60th Birthday. See more ideas about birthday greetings, birthday, greetings. "Get your honky tonk on.". -Janine Turner, Texas is a state of mind. Celebrate your birthday with the greatest joy for the priceless gift of life, be filled with joy that brings renewed strength. If your favorite 60-year-old has a good sense of humor, teasing them a little (in good fun) is okay. It was like Austin, Texas. Craig Ferguson, Read More: 25 Famous Quotes about Austin, Texas. Did we forget any popular Texas idioms and sayings? Texas is a cult. Lindsay Mcelwee, I Like The Image Texas Brings To Mindthat Of Bigness, Of Strength, Of Goodness. Ninfa Laurenzo, The enemy never sees the backs of my Texans! General Robert E. Lee, CSA, Texas history is a varied, tempestuous, and vast as the state itself. )Why shear a pig?Dont snap my garters.A guilty fox hunts his own hole.Quit hollering down the rain.Dont rile the wagon master.Better to keep your mouth shut and seem a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.The barn doors open and the mules trying to run. Showing search results for "Texas Birthday" sorted by relevance. Texas Sayings Never miss a good chance to shutup. Getty A police officer walks outside of the closed Alamo on April 1, 2020 in downtown San Antonio, Texas, during a stay at home order amid the novel coronavirus outbreak. -Unknown, Years ago someone pointed out that Texas is hell on women and horses. Looks like shes been chewed up, spit out, and stepped on.Looks like she was rode hard and put away wet.She looks like chewed twine.He looks like Bowsers bone.I was born tired and Ive since suffered a relapse.One wheel down and the axle dragging.Im near about past going. - By The Beatles. Make your friends and family chuckle with these sayings, or make them laugh out loud with funny 60th birthday quotes.Witty quotes can also make great slogans for 60th . Were still figuring out how to spell tolerance. Count not the years, but the life you live. 500 matching entries found. I will never be able to forget the support that you have given me. A Camerasince Texas is super photogenic. "May you be gifted with life's biggest joys and never-ending bliss.
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